Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Making Changes: Let's Talk Life-style

***Warning***I was nervous to hit the publish button! This blog post is going to be personal. If you're only here to read about DIY and decorating, you can just skip along to the previous posts. No hurt feelings, I promise.



I have something I have to get off my chest: WEIGHT...about 30 pounds (give or take a few).


Writing this post and "putting this out there" has been on my heart for a while now. So what made this random Wednesday night the right time? I saw a picture on our HR intranet yesterday and it's been haunting me, reminding me that I don't feel good about myself right now, serving as a reminder of my weight fluctuations.

It's been up and down my entire life. Right now it's up. Up to a point where I don't feel healthy. I don't feel like my outside is representing my inside. I feel like "that really sweet girl who has cute clothes but is a little heavy."

I realize that this is a very personal subject but this is me keeping it real. It's out there now...so I may as well give you some perspective.

Here's the smallest I can ever remember being in my adult life. Confession: I did this in a very unhealthy way. Weight loss pills. THAT is NOT real life. I will never do that again no matter how much weight I lost or what size those jeans were.
During a band gig in roughly 2007. I still have those jeans...in hopes of fitting into them again someday.


Then I found happiness with Brent and we bonded over food. We went on fabulous dates out to lovely restaurants. And I ended up looking like this up until we got engaged.

During a Thanksgiving celebration at work. THIS was the photo that started this post...
  
Look at my beautiful mom! I show this pic to illustrate how round my face looks when I am heavier than I want to be.


Our engagement was motivation to get my body in a place where I felt confident. I turned back to Weight Watchers and I had success--just like I had when I needed to lose some weight after college. The program works if you work it. And I had an AMAZING meeting leader...I keep up with her to this day and she's an inspiration to me.

I remember setting a weight goal. I hit it the morning of this engagement photoshoot. I felt pretty good about the photos.

At the time of our wedding and afterwards I felt great! We were active and busy and were trying to buy a new house so we were saving money instead of eating out.

At the wedding I felt confident and sexy. (As shown in my awesome dance moves here)
 
The honeymoon was great...I wasn't worried about what clothes to wear or how I looked. It was liberating to feel that good about myself.
 
At a friend's wedding, I remember slipping on that shirt and skirt and thinking "YES these fit!"
 
Yes, those are Biggest Loser contestants. I was working at a nutrition conference...feeling like I represented the "health" I was talking to attendees about. Now I feel like a bit of a hypocrite. :(
 
On a fall vacation in Indiana with Brent's parents. Those jeans are at least two sizes too small right now.
 


At this point in my life, I need a change. I love our marriage and our sweet dog. I have an amazing career. I love my co-workers and the FUN work we get to do. I love my new house. I think that's the problem. I'm really happy and content with where I am in life...and we saw above what happens when I get happy....I eat.

I've honestly avoided having pictures taken lately. If I do, I crop them. I feel tired a lot. I try to find clothes that camouflage my muffin top, bra bulge and all sorts of other unsightly bumps. I cringe when I put on my winter jackets and they feel tight across my shoulders and bust. Coats, people. You know you've put on weight when your coat size, or worse yet, your underwear don't fit right.

This was taken at an event we hosted for work. (I cringe). But I'm standing there with a blogger who has been a big motivation for me to do this. Biz at MyBizzyKitchen.com keeps it real and makes it happen. SHE is motivation!

So it's time for a lifestyle change. I have tried the "all in" method. They work, but I boomerang back. I give in to one slip up and it's all over. So I'm starting small and I'll work my way up. AND I made a deal with myself: NO SCALES.

I'll take my measurements tomorrow. I'll take them again in two weeks. And I'm writing down everything I eat. Normally I'd go right to calorie counting or point counting. Nope, I'm literally just going to write down what goes in my mouth. I know that will be a big wake up call.

I will eat real foods. No supplements. No bars or shakes. No entire food groups eliminated. Practice what we preach--balanced diet with physical activity. This is real life. This is how I'm going to get back to the outside reflecting the me I feel like on the inside.
 
So there it is. If you made it all the way to this sentence...bless you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for listening. I commit to making a change. I commit to updating you on my journey. If I can inspire or help just one person, it will make it all worthwhile.

~Karli

23 comments:

  1. Since I read this on my iPhone it's hard for me to comment there - I type so much faster on the computer! First of all, you are beautiful - but you already know that, don't you? Second - thank you for the shout out. In fact, your post has reinvigorated me - since I started working two jobs my exercise mojo has not been near where it had been. Starting next week I plan on changing that, and you will motivate me to stick to my 30 days of doing T-25. We can do this!

    I still have 30 pounds to lose too - consistency needs to be our motto - let's do this! Hugs Karli!

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    1. Well there you go. If reinvigorating you is what needed to happen from all this, then it was worth it. 30 pounds may be on the conservative side for me, so I'll get there and THEN see how I'm feeling. :) I'll cheer you on and use you as motivation every step of the way!! HUGS back to you, Biz!

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  2. I am the same boat you are. However, I KNOW we CAN do this!

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  3. Our mutual friend Biz sent me your way today to cheer you on! It's always daunting to start over again (and I do so often) but your plan sounds solid and healthy. You go, girl! You can do it! -Dana

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    1. Aww, thank you so much for coming by to cheer me on. It means a lot to have support near and far!!

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  4. Karli, thank you for posting this! It's so honest and inspiring. As I look at your photos, I see the same beautiful person in each, but I can relate to everything you are saying. I too am so critical of every photo of me. I'm glad you hit the "publish" button and I enjoyed reading this. I'd love to be a partner with you on making changes to feel healthier and help you celebrate every little win. :)

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    1. Thank you so much for this! We are always more critical of ourselves. PIctures or not, I know how my pants feel on my body right now...talk about motivation! :)

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  5. I came here via Biz too - I rarely ever comment, but I feel like you could be talking about me, 25 years ago. I struggled with my weight my whole life - felt good at my wedding (20 years ago - ack!) and then went up and then down and then up again from there. About 8 years ago I got my act together. Very slowly, and with ups and downs, but I lost around 40 lbs and have kept it off. Went from a 12/14 down to a 6 (occasionally even a 4 - thank you vanity sizing!). The BIGGEST thing I can credit with losing it and keeping it off is lifting weights. And not baby weights. Get in there and don't be afraid to lift heavy weight (safely, of course). I did a personal training program for about 6 weeks that showed me what to do, and showed me that I could do way more than I thought I could. Rachel Cosgrove has a couple books out that I really like too. I applaud your decision to ditch the scale too - I did that about 5 months ago. I have "that" pair of jeans that tell me if i need to cut back a little. You go girl - you are beautiful no matter what - now go lift some weights! ;)

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by! I love your story!! My husband loves lifting weights and we have a mini gym in our basement (along with a treadmill). You've given me the motivation to put those weights to work! Also, I agree with your "pair of jeans" being your guide. I could care less what a scale says... I just want to get back to feeling confident and happy with myself.

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  6. Karli, you can do it! You have done it before, you will do it again! And you are very beautiful. Though I did have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that your mom looks like your sister!

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    1. Hi Abbe! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! I'm sure my mom will also love your compliment! She really is the most beautiful woman I know--my dad says the same thing too. :) I appreciate your support--I can do this!

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  7. I think you are beautiful inside and out! I know that your post will be a huge inspiration for other women who are dealing with the same struggle. I applaud your bravery for being so open and honest, you will touch many lives with this post! You can do this Karli! xo~

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    1. Thank you, Amee! Spending time with you last week was a huge push for finally doing this. (The straw that broke the camel's back, right?) You're such a fit, healthy example--you help me see what's possible with dedication!!

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  8. We share everything! You told me that you were going to do this just last night. So, I'm just saying.....I am with you all the way. I may look like your sister (from far away), but I am the heavier twin!! I will join you on this journey. I walked 1/2 mile this a.m. at 10 degrees in the snow. They say you burn more calories in the cold....ha. So.....let's do this thing together! I love you, Mom

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  9. I think you are gorgeous in every one of the pictures you shared!!!
    I do like the fact that you are planning to make changes and lose weight in a healthy way (no pills or gimmicks!!) - so much better. Biz is the greatest and she is awesome about keeping things real!!

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    1. Thanks Kim!! I was "young" and naive when I decided I'd use weight loss pills. I still can't believe I resorted to that. So terrible. Since this my relationship with my self esteem has changed and my understanding of nutrition and health has also changed. I'm blessed to call several registered dietitians my friends--they have all taught me so much!

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  10. As I have always told Biz, she is beautiful to me no matter how much she weighs. My advice is to do whatever you do for yourself.

    This is Tony by the way...I me lika the beef!

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    1. Thanks Tony!! You're a wonderful husband I hear :)

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  11. HiI I came over here from Bizzy Kitchen. She is a huge inspiration to me as well. Good for you for making a change! You got this! With the right attitude and approach you can achieve any goal you aspire to.

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  12. I also happen to be a home design junkie so it looks like you have yourself a new reader!

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have fun reading outside this post too ;-)

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